Go Gok yourself… (girlfriend)


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Following on from last week’s blog ‘Shoes’ I did rummage through my wardrobes each day to come up with a ‘new’ outfit every day. I banned myself from wearing skinny jeans and the brown boots I always wear. It was quite exciting challenging myself each night to come up with someone different for the next day. All my shoes, bar one pair, were worn and I felt great again. It did, however, get me into thinking why I had bought these clothes but weren’t actually wearing them…

Clothes are very important to me. Not in the sense of being in fashion and having the latest must have accessories but more in that this is the outward reflection of the inside of me. I’m a little bohemian, I like colours and I like to be comfortable. I’ve always been complimented on my dress sense and several ladies over the years have asked my opinions as to things they should wear. I’m no model, I’m not beautiful but I am a girl who seems to be able to make the best of what she has and that’s something we all need a bit of encouragement to do sometimes.

But how did I end up wearing the same clothes every day? How do any of us end up there? I remember being 1st pregnant. I still wore my usual clothes until I finally gave in and bought maternity clothes. This, for me, I think was the first step to losing my old sense of my own dress sense. I was forced into wearing clothes that someone else had decided was what pregnant people should be wearing that season whether or not the pregnant lady wanted to! Maternity clothes weren’t great 8 ½ years ago and hardly any shops made them so I was forced to wear the large prints, diagonal lines and flowery tops that were on offer. I hated them. I couldn’t think of anything worse to wear but for 14 months that’s what I wore. No I didn’t have the longest pregnancy in history but that’s when my body decided to deflate and go back to its usual shape. By then I had my legs back, my bum was of normal size but I still had the ‘tummy’ that most pregnant women have. I then had to find clothes that I could tuck my tummy into and once again I was left with clothes that fitted and not worn because I wanted too.

The baby then started being a bit sick and I had to regularly change my tops. What was the point of wearing those lovely woolly pulleys when the baby would just be sick on it? On no, I bought washable fabrics, that’s way more sensible surely but I was slowly, little by little moving away from the confident dresser I had once been. The baby grew and grabbed my earrings so they were put away as was the necklaces I loved to wear and goodness knows how many bracelets were broken before I finally learned my lesson. The baby grew more and the inquisitive fingers found the gaps in the intricate patterns on my tights and after a few laddering’s I didn’t wear skirts anymore so out came the jeans and, accept from the odd occasion, that’s what I seem to have worn since.

As each pregnancy came and went I never really got back into wearing the beautiful clothes that I felt were really me. I stuck with the easy jeans and the tied back hair –babies seem to like to swing off my hair and I can lose a small child in it on a wet frizzy day so it was more of a health and safety issue to keep it under control. I was being a mum and that was great but were had I disappeared too?

Digging my shoes out last weekend has given me a wakeup call. Seeing all the clothes I’ve had for years. I did say I have clothes for YEARS and only throw them away when they are worn out. I found one waistcoat I bought when I was at university that was 13 years ago!! Hubbie held it up and said he could actually see through it but I held my nerve, it stayed in the wardrobe. I found a dress I’d bought after my 1st pregnancy. It’s a devil to get into but once you’re there it feels fabulous. I wear it with a big floppy cardi and flat shoes and it’s so comfortable but also girlie. I found an amazing (real) Harris Tweed waistcoat I bought years ago but have never really had the courage to wear but this week out it came and I was strutting my stuff in it and feeling wonderful.

Gok is right. We need to feel better about ourselves. Yes I don’t have the body of a 20 year old but I do have the brain and experience of a 36 year old. I have the body of a girlie (I don’t feel old enough to call myself a women –is that just me?) who’s had 3 children. Yes my tummy may wobble and my boobs may not be quite in the same place they used to be but if I were a cave woman I would probably wouldn’t have lived to 36 so every cloud has a silver lining, you just need to squint a bit to see. I’m not advocating that we all strip off down to our undies and put ourselves through the torment of a 360 degree mirror or even pose naked for a photo shoot but we need to get out of the monotony of the jeans uniform –or whatever your uniform is, track suit? Combats? Yes, I’m talking to you! – And wear the clothes we’ve loved enough to buy in the past. You may need to lose a bit of weight as your clothes don’t fit. I can relate to this I have clothes in mine that don’t fit but just wearing the same old clothes day in day out is never going to make them fit so I may as well sort them out and make that decision as to whether I want to keep them. If I do, then just experimenting with those that fit might make me/you feel a bit more encourage to care a bit more about how we look and this just might be the thing to get our arses off that couch. (Sorry I’ve been reading ‘Run fat bitch run!! And I’m a little gung ho about it all) to help us loose that weight.

SO throw open your wardrobe and fall in love with the clothes you have again. Raid your jewellery box and find those necklaces, put on those earrings and rings to give that little bit of sparkle to your outfit and that may just sparkle your day. Accept the compliments from people –they will notice your change away from the norm – and walk with a little spring in your step. Show off your bangers (sorry a bit of Gok there) if that makes you feel good or get your legs out and show the world what you’re about. Go Gok yourself and put that love for you back into the forefront of your day. Clothes reflect the inner you and I’m back on track…

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About littlewhitecottage

Tales from a contemporay cottage.
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9 Responses to Go Gok yourself… (girlfriend)

  1. becka says:

    loved it emma , just what i needed this morning so thankyou xxx

  2. Jo says:

    I completely agree! Especially about the ‘woman’ thing. I’m nearly *ahem* 40 and still feel like a girl! I have to say I haven’t worn trousers for almost 3 years. I last bought some jeans after my son was born and wore them a few times only. I love skirts and dresses, so that’s what I wear every day. The jewellery is a different matter. I have a drawer full of gorgousness that I just don’t wear because of unwanted attention from my son. I’m off for a rummage.

  3. Ange says:

    Glad i’m not the only one that falls into the ‘pony tail’ mum uniform! u have given me the kick up the arse i so desparately needed! gonna chuck out all the unflattering tracksuit bottoms that i seem to live in so i have to creep further into narnia to find the ‘old’ me! great writing as always! x

  4. Annie Crow says:

    I’m about to get my clothes ready for the week and you’ve totally inspired me, thank you x

  5. margaret blackwell says:

    perfect words of encouragement emma to all “mums” to regain your indentity! but it also happens to “grans” as well. i have a little,and i mean little,rota of clothes,which about 25% of my wardrobe.tomorrow i will look at the other 75% and if i don’t like it or can’t fit into it,out it goes! thank you Emma for giving me a kick up the ***. as G
    ok says,buy less wear more!

    • Ah Mrs B! I did wonder about putting a bit in for those who’ve just got into a clothes trap as the lady who looks after the boys said she’d noticed she was just wearing the same things to. Not just Mummies but younger and older ladies too. Have fun in the wardrobe tomorrow! x

  6. Lynn says:

    Here here! Well said, all us mummies seem to be in the same boat, we end up wearing the same old comfortable clothes and don’t seem to see the point in dressing up to stay home and mind the kiddies. Being a 40+ mum who’s had 2 little ones in the past few years it’s harder to lose the baby weight as we get older never mind find the time. I’ve decided to wear dresses(sometimes with leggings) rather than fall into the trap of jeans/leggings and trainers everyday. I may get the odd look at the school gate from the mums in the trackie bottoms, but it’s lovely when hubby comes home and says you look lovely today.

  7. Anuszka Stepien-Hales says:

    I LOVE clothes and am very lucky that my dad owns a mens and ladies designer boutique in Leicester. I have always grown up experimenting with clothes and still do now. Like you Emma, I get complimented and asked for advice on clothing. I’m not a very casual mummy tho which people laugh at as I have 3 boys too. The mums at school call me glamourous!! I’m certainly not, but I always make an effort and I think it makes you feel so much better. Best advice ever is to have fun and enjoy experimenting with clothes. Also, If it’s not been worn for a year, the chances are it won’t get worn again!!

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