‘Black pants, white pants, NO PANTS AT ALL!!’

With 3 boys in the house pants, and the contents of pants, are a daily subject. With Henry and his need to put them back on or Tobes with his need to pull them down quickly to get on the toilet or all the boys with their need to keep their hands out of them, we all have a pants need. The boys call mine ‘knickers’ and giggle uncontrollably when they say knickers. In fact I can have three very serious faced boys in the depth or war laughing if I just put my head around the door and whisper, ‘Knickers!’…

I have pictures of boys with pants on their heads, hair sticking out what should be the leg holes with broad grins on their faces. We have great discussions over Bob pants versus Toy story pants but they all agree there is nothing cooler than army pants. Camouflage pants to you or I but to my sons aged nearly 8, 4 and 2 they are cool.

There is a pant hierarchy in the house depending on your age. Ollie is the epitome of sophisticatedness as he’s in boxer short pants. These are like Daddy’s so, therefore, they have Godlike status in our house. Not necessarily because they are like Daddy but because they are grown up pants, MAN PANTs and being grown up and a man is what every little boys wants to be. Henry is next down as he wears traditional pants. These come in many colours, as stated above, but Henry is happy in them as he is above Tobes and when you’re in a house full of brothers being the above anyone is fab as no-one wants to be the baby (I am NOT a baby!) Tobes wears ‘nappy pants’ or ‘Bob Pants’ as he calls them. The pull up pants that have bob the builder on that means he can pull them up and down it also means they are not nappies. In his eyes he’s a big boy as he’s not in nappies, he’s one of the guys who can now join in with the pant talk that goes on around the house and he loves to nod sagely with them…

We read stories of pants. Our favourites are ‘Dinosaurs love underpants’ and ‘Pants’ The boys love the idea that the dinosaurs were wiped out because they all had a fight over pants and they love ‘Pants’ because it has the line ‘Black pants, white pants ‘no pants at all!’ and they all shout NO PANTS AT ALL!! And giggle their head off uncontrollably so much they miss the next couple of pages.

The contents of their pants has them amazed. God must have been a man I think to have given little boys penises or Willy’s as the boys call them. How delighted they are with them and also with their bottoms. They show them at any given opportunity, proudly and loudly as they say ‘Mummy!’ In a lovely way and then moon me from the top of the stairs. I shout ‘Put your pants on!!’ but they don’t hear me as they are laughing again. See pants are funny, especially when you’re a small boy.

Tobes is having trouble getting into his big boy pants that Henry wears. He is desperate to be like his brothers but he just isn’t getting the signals that mean he knows he needs to go to the toilet. I won’t rush him but there is a nursery deadline in September that we are aiming for as he can’t go to Nursery if he isn’t out of all nappy type pants. He wets himself and then says ‘I need a wee!’ and I have already cleaned poo from his beloved pants as he sobs. But gently suggest that put back on the pull up pants and he is adamant, ‘NO! I want my big boy pants!’ so we try again…

He’ll get there I know he will. The others did, Henry astounding us all by toilet training himself which was astonishing because he was so behind on everything else we just assumed he’d take ages learning to use the toilet. This, of course, is now obvious that the one boy who is obsessed with pants, poo, willy’s, bums, wee and knickers would really the one to leap out of nappies and into less restrictive pants. None of them have used a potty. Ollie didn’t want to because Daddy didn’t and Daddy is the Godlike man so we do what men do and Henry didn’t want to because his beloved Ollie didn’t use one. It really doesn’t matter with Tobes as he’s not getting the signals and no amount of frog shaped, jingle playing piece of plastic is going to help him at the moment.

So we’re pants mad here. We have, it seems, hundreds of pairs of the things. Daddy’s are big (Henry – when will I get a big willy like Daddy? Hubbie – beams a winning smile and says ‘that’s my boy!’) Ollie’s are cool, mine are knickers (giggling), Hen’s are army ones and Tobes’ are so small and cute I could almost have them as a key ring. Still I shouldn’t complain as they are a fun thing to talk about and I know that when they are older and ‘teeangery’, pants take a whole new meaning in terms of what label pants are bought, how they are worn and making sure the label of their pants is shown to anyone else who knows anything about pant labels for them to appreciate. It’s almost like joining a club; do they have a membership card? No. They wear the ‘right’ pants to be cool. I’m sure the contents of their pants will become ever more fascinating to them and I really don’t want to think past that. Henry will be incorrigible and I’m not sure we’re ever going to stop shouting ‘get your hands out of your pants!!!’ but I do think he’s also going to find ‘Knickers’ funny. It’s just him really.

So this week we’ve made our own pants after looking at the designs in both the books above. The boys had great fun celebrating pants and designing their ideal pair. If you’d like to join in with us there is a downloadable template at the bottom of this blog, make a template out of old card and you’re free to make the best pair of pants you can think of. I’ve also put a link to a document with a list of lovely pants books. Pants make us laugh in our house and in these times, bottle those laughs where you can find them because these are the things of memories.

Pants template

Books about pants


About littlewhitecottage

Emma is a qualified teacher with 14 years of teaching in many different settings. From teaching adults and children at a music school to choosing to work in a demanding primary school that was failing (which meant moving from an outstanding school – her colleagues were aghast!) to running her own sewing business for the last 5 ½ years teaching all ages how to sew: Emma loves to teach.
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5 Responses to ‘Black pants, white pants, NO PANTS AT ALL!!’

  1. Lisa T says:

    Sounds like our house except we have only one, but I’m often heard shouting “Henry get your hands out of your pants”, he’s 3 and a half and sounds exactly the same as your Henry. He wears Ben 10 pants at the moment as he’s cool, which are boxers because they’re big boy pants 🙂 Bob pants are saved for night time, but he’s desperate to stop wearing them. Good Luck with Tobes, as you say he’ll get there, he is only 2 x

  2. That certainly brought a smile to my face. Kids are sooooo funny. No kids of my own yet but I have loads of photos of my younger brother wearing pants on his head. He used to run around shouting ‘dunadunadunadunaduna PANTS MAN!’ Good luck Tobes.x

  3. Susiq says:

    I have so enjoyed reading this! Reminds me of when mine were small and knickerbocker (glory) brought a similar reaction.

  4. Katie says:

    I just love ‘Pants’ and it’s sequel ‘More Pants’ and as with your boys I could garantee that it could get even the grumpiest of Foundation children giggling 🙂

  5. stocki says:

    Ahhh the memories… I’m smiling to see that you call your Toby ‘Tobes’ too! Make the most of the pants joy… teenager’s pants are far less fun! :)x

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