Take a walk on the flip side…


At the breakfast table this morning for some reason the conversation turned to submarines. Having 3 children our mealtime conversations are random and varied and we’ve covered subjects as diverse as who would win in a fight between Lego men and Playmobil men, just how would you kill a dragon and how it’s a bit difficult to not like girls when Mummy is a girl. (‘No she isn’t she’s Mummy!’) Having breakfast, or any meal, with little ones really is a voyage of verbal (and intellectual) discovery. I will not forget Henry saying ‘We’re descended from robots aren’t we Mummy??’ one day leaving us all, quite frankly, a bit confused and speechless…

This morning was no different. The boys were talking about submarines and how they are powered. Tobes said that they have an engine and I quickly said, ‘No they don’t they have oars just like normal boats. The people rowing just have to hold their breaths for a very long time.’ Ollie immediately knew this was a wind up and said so but Henry waivered. I can understand this as a boy who thinks we’re descended from robots and that dinosaurs broke the roads that we drive on would totally believe that submarines are powered by people rowing and holding their breaths. Tobes didn’t really get it but knew something wasn’t right.

Oliver said, ‘Well the water would come in’ so I said that when you see the little windows in the submarines that’s not really to be looking out of I mean, it’s dark under the sea so you can’t see anything. I said that that’s how they put the oars into the water –through the windows and that forms a tight seal so no water gets in.

Silence from the boys.

Then an eruption of ‘No way Mummy! That’s so not right. You’re just having us on!!’

I said that they should look at submarines and see the windows and then see if I’m wrong.

They then started to talk about the colour of submarines. As they’ve learned the song ‘Yellow submarine’ they, naturally, think all submarines are yellow. I said that they were yellow but also had red spots on. This is to make them more like fish so the other fish aren’t scared by it. Again much guffawing and ridicule but there was a hint of ‘Is she really wrong?’ I then said that the paint used on submarines is really very clever in that it’s yellow with red spots under the water but when it surfaces they yellow paint turns to a dull grey colour and that’s all we would ever see. I was beginning to have them hooked by this as how could they really disprove this?

Ollie then said ‘I suppose you’re going to tell us that the submarine has skis on too!’

I said how did he know? They always tried to keep that secret from everyone. I told them that unlike what the maps tell us the seabed really isn’t flat so when the submarine captain is feeling little bored and wants a bit of fun he drops down the skis and the submarine then skis over the hills of the seabed and they all have a great time. Being in a submarine under the water in the dark for so long really can be quite boring so they do this sort of thing to pass the time of day.

3 boys looking at me faces agog…

A sniggering Hubbie sits next to me…

I love pulling their legs. I think it’s one of the best parts of them growing older. You really can have a giggle with a baby but you can’t tell it weird and wild stories of things it really doesn’t understand. I love the way the boys look at each other wanting to find out if Mummy really is telling the truth. PC world became pork chop world, I’ve told them that Aliens had visited and pooed in the toilet when we used a new toilet cleaner that stuck to the bowl of the loo. For ages Tobes kept saying ‘mind the little people’ when I sat on the chair in the kitchen after I once caught him bouncing on the sofa and I told him that the little people lived under it and he would squash them.

They know my sense of humour is a little warped and I know this stage of telling huge porkies about really stupid things won’t last forever but I’m enjoying it and I actually think they are too. Why not look on the flip side as it’s sometimes way more fun than reality…

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About littlewhitecottage

Tales from a contemporay cottage.
This entry was posted in Family, The random thoughts of me, Things to do with your children, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Take a walk on the flip side…

  1. Alison Lamper says:

    Whenever I used to pull faces as a child my mum used to say “if the wind changes you’ll stay like it” this was roughly the same time as my dad taught me to tell which way the wind is blowing by wetting my finger in my mouth and feeling which side of my finger got cold. I can cross my eyes really easily and was always proud that this was one thing i could do that no one else in my family could. So picture, if u will, a child of about 6yrs out in the garden crossing her eyes whilst wetting her finger to try and tell when the wind changes. And quickly Un-crossing her eyes if it did!

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